Cahoots a beloved voice in Hollywood beachWith headlines like ``Giant Crab Stalks Dania'' and ``Snowbird Bandit Robs 38 Tourists on Broadwalk,'' the irreverent Hollywood beach quarterly tabloid Cahoots is part news, part fiction -- mixed with a zany dose of humor that reflects the beach's quirky personality.
Milford’s 63rd Labor Day parade doesn’t disappointMILFORD – Judie Parker of Milford has been watching the town’s Labor Day parades for 65 years and never gets tired of it. “I like the political floats. I’m a political junky,” she said Monday as she waited for the parade to begin with her husband, Terry, and their dog, Maude. People began setting up chairs on Elm Street, around the Oval and up along Mont Vernon Street hours before the 1 p.m ...
Aussie teen war drama set to explode worldwideAustralia may finally have a homegrown blockbuster on its hands with the terrifically engaging "Tomorrow, When the War Began," an action-packed war film for and about teenagers.
20 Cigarettes -- Film ReviewIn someone else's hands, "20 Cigarettes" could have become a gritty anti-war movie or an outright tearjerker. Instead, Aureliano Amadei opts for a middle ground for his autobiographical debut feature, which is surprisingly mainstream and sincere at the same time.
Marine brings comedy to Jewish celebrationDave Rosner has served several tours in Iraq — once as a Marine, and again as a stand-up comic. Billed as the only Jewish Marine Comedian, the Albuquerque native is the guest speaker at a dinner Wednesday night celebrating Rosh Hashanah —the Jewish New Year— at the Hilton Santa Fe.
Boy howdy, do people like to talk about Monopoly. I got many e-mails this week...Boy howdy, do people like to talk about Monopoly. I got many e-mails this week about my Monopoly column, mostly concerning variants of the game as played in individual households and on particular rainy days. Here's one from Margaret Pye: "Just had to tell... Monopoly - Board game - Games - Economy and Trading - Variants
Philanthropist Eugene Yeager, 85, diesErnest Eugene "Gene" Yeager, whose family construction business changed the landscape of Southern California and whose charitable work earned him "guardian angel" status in Riverside, has died of complications from bladder cancer surgery. He was 85. Video:
Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party CandidateJEFFERSON CITY, MO (The Borowitz Report) – A rabid Doberman Pinscher jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri on Labor Day and barked at the crowd for nearly twenty minutes before people realized he was not a candidate.
The dog, later identified by its owner as “Mister Buster,” held the crowd spellbound as [...]
Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama ExistsWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.
The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” [...]
All U.S. Workplaces to be Fitted with Inflatable SlidesWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Effective immediately, all workplaces in the United States will be fitted with inflatable slides to enable disgruntled employees to quit as dramatically as possible.
According to a new study commissioned by the U.S. Department of Labor, workers are less likely to suffer from stress and “go off” at the workplace if [...]
In Month Before Labor Day, Pointless ?Filler? Columns AboundNEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In a phenomenon that occurs every year in the month before Labor Day, national columnists across America file pointless, content-free “filler” columns, enabling the lazy scribes to hit the beach earlier, according to observers who have been following this trend.
The “filler” columns are churned out in a matter of [...]
BP Replaces Tony Hayward with Startled DeerLONDON (The Borowitz Report) – Carrying through on its pledge to install fresh leadership at the top of the company, BP today replaced embattled CEO Tony Hayward with a startled deer.
Bucky, the red deer selected to take the helm at BP, is believed to be the first woodland creature ever to run a multinational corporation.
In [...]