When I was a kid, winter was supposed to be cold. We'd shiver and shake, and mother would put hot rocks under our blankets to keep us warm. Our windows would frost over, and we knew the old pond would be frozen enough to skate on. That's the way it was, and that's the way it should have stayed.

But look around now. People have got it too comfy, and I'm sure Mother Nature is none too happy about it. The pond doesn't freeze over anymore, and the kids go to hockey rinks to skate, because someone has turned up the heat. I think these young folk must be sissies!

Some Einstein must be feeling pretty proud of himself right now, sipping his marguerita, and lounging back in his Bermuda shorts. Did he think that he solved the world's problems by adjusting the temperature?

Well, I'm not happy about this at all. Not one bit. Who's paying for this luxury of warmth that covers the globe? Are my taxes paying for this? What is this braniac going to do next? Spin up the Earth so we'll all feel lighter?

Suck it up you weather-tampering idjits! Put the thermostat back where it was, and if you're too cold, put on a damned sweater.