Why are these genetic scientists such friggin' idjits? Do they think that just because they have those special labcoats, that it gives them to right to play God? It scares the living poop out of me that these kids have the capability of changing the genetic code in my DNA.

I tell you, I was in the park the other day feeding banana bread to the pigeons, when I noticed some of these experiments walking right before my eyes!

They were these two Asian kids, not more than fifteen I'd say, and they both had blonde hair! Is this what God had intended? Will we all just able to push a few buttons on a computer, and order our children in whatever size and colour we want?

I tell you, I should have been suspicious years ago when I saw that African-American fellow with the rainbow-coloured afro at all the ball games.

Now, wherever I go, I see kids with blue hair, kids with pink hair, and kids with no hair at all!

I think that these scientists should find better things to do with their time than fiddle with the pigment in our hair. How about finding a cure for arthritis, or developing turkeys that don't dry out when you cook them? And where were those extra drumsticks they promised us years ago?